one hundred and sixty-eight hours, the twenty-fifth one

june; still striving to be better and trying to find that balance

When I started writing for Substack, it was a new season. I had new goals, and I was excited to try this out for a year. I blinked, and now it’s June—which means I’ve been at this for about six months. Half a year. 4,382.905 hours - approximately. It feels nice.

My goal in January was to become better, not new.

So, how am I doing?

Reflection is a funny thing, isn’t it? I actually had to go back and read my first article—post, passage, message (what is this, anyway?)—just to see what I was really thinking that particular week.

This is how I am doing

I’m reading more—shoutout to book club again! I even started another one, because I love my MDHS community, and summer is just too long to go without hanging out.

I haven’t been great at writing more letters (still working on that), but hey, there’s still time.

I’m still not hosting tons of gatherings at my place, but I am more social these days—so that counts for something.

And how are WE doing?

I’m completely aware of the division and unrest in our country right now. In our world. I see what’s happening—mostly—and I hear the words, the lies, the noise, and the nonsense being said. I see the heartless, un-American things unfolding, and it saddens me deeply.

So what do I do about it? What can we do?

A few weeks ago, I started a little “Steph Series” on Instagram called Things Making Me Happy. I simply post things on my story that bring me joy. And honestly? It’s been incredible for me.

What do you do to focus on the good?

It’s absolutely essential that we look for the good and the beautiful around us. If we don’t, we risk falling deep—deep—into negativity, fear, anxiety, and more. And that’s not who we are. We are better than that.

Still, I wonder: does staying in my beautiful bubble of life make me tone-deaf?

What if I’m not ready to march?
What if I don’t have the right words to make a difference?
What if I’m still learning?

Be better - be aware of the good and the bad

My main focus right now is talking with my daughter. She’s home with us, asking thoughtful, beautiful questions and sharing amazing insights. I listen more than I speak—but we talk. We discuss. We try to find the truth somewhere in the middle. We look for the good. And we do our best to learn from the bad.

Last night, we were at a friend’s house, watching The Music Man and enjoying a lovely evening. But as we were saying our goodbyes, someone said the words, “We are at war.”

Quincy cried the entire ride home.

There is certainly good in the world. And there is certainly bad.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Life is a balance.

I’m currently reading The Women by Kristin Hannah. Oh, my. This book is filled with heartache, sadness, grit, desperation, and deep friendship. It’s emotionally intense—every chapter leaves me feeling both moved and exhausted.

Kristin Hannah truly has a way with words. She writes about heroic women who endure so much—and somehow, still go on.

Balance.

Frankie, a nurse in Vietnam, witnessed things no human being should ever have to see. She came face to face with death every day—and she felt it all, deeply.

And yet, when Americans returned home from Vietnam, they weren’t welcomed with respect or gratitude. Instead, they were met with silence, scorn, or worse. Reading those parts of this historically based story was gut-wrenching.

It’s heartbreaking to realize: we really did treat our fellow Americans that way.

Yes. We did.

Are we still treating fellow Americans badly? Yes, we are.

Balance.

Frankie returns home and, somewhat reluctantly, attends a bridal shower for a friend of a high school friend. But in the middle of it, she breaks down.

She’s surrounded by people living in a bubble—completely unaware of the brutal, unforgiving reality she just came from. While her comrades are dying, minute after minute, these women are sipping punch and talking about centerpieces.

She’s stunned. Overwhelmed. The contrast between where she was and where she is now is too jarring to process.

The disconnect is more than emotional. It’s too much to internalize.

I find myself in complicated moments.

On one hand, I’ve been wrapped in joy—celebrating our dear Charley’s graduation, and then spending a beautiful, memorable week on the coast with my sisters and our parents, honoring their 80th birthdays.

And yet, at the very same time, across the country, brave people were gathering and protesting—for good reason—on June 14, 2025. Meanwhile, others were, and are, being detained: workers at car washes, Walmarts, and small-town corners, taken by masked men with guns that have no place outside of combat. It is cowardly. It is chilling.

And now, WAR.

The contrast is disorienting—joy and injustice, side by side. And I’m left holding both.

Balance.

The good and the bad. What do we do?

During our coastal getaway, as we sipped coffee by the roaring fire, my sister read a powerful portion of an article to our family.

America’s government teacher, Sharon McMahon, posted these slides to her Instagram account last week:

“Neutrality in a moral crisis is like standing still in a burning house.

You’re not safe.

You’re just next.

History doesn’t remember the people who stayed neutral.

It remembers who showed up. And who didn’t.

Neutrality won’t save us.

But our courage might.

Courage doesn’t often feel righteous.

It feels lonely. Risky. Uncomfortable. And necessary.

If courage felt good, more people would have some.”

-Sharon Says So - Sharon McMahon

My thoughts this week have been all over the place—maybe you can sense that. Honestly, I hope yours are too. We need to be better. We need to sit with loneliness, risk, and discomfort. We need to find courage.

Minnesota House Speaker Melissa Hortman and her husband, Mark Hortman, were shot and killed in what appears to be politically motivated murders. Yes, murders.

The children of the Hortmans released a heartfelt statement. Hortman Children Statement

One section I particularly loved was a direction of action:

“The best way to honor our parents’ memory is to do something, whether big or small, to make our community just a little better for someone else.”

They suggested planting a tree, telling a dad joke, and baking something to share — “bread for Mark or a cake for Melissa”.

“Pet a dog,” was on the list “A golden retriever is ideal but any will do.”

When bad things happen, and they will, what do we do? These sweet ideas from Sophie and Colin Hortman provide a start.

Dance

So, as I wrap up this week’s thoughts, I’m coming back to my January goal: to be just a little bit better. Also adding: be a bit more courageous, try to make a difference.

I see the bad, but I also see the good—the happy moments. I will continue to hold close those who are suffering, but I won’t apologize for finding joy in the everyday.

And to attempt to end on a high note, here’s a commencement speech from the wonderful Steve Carell. If you haven’t seen it yet, enjoy. If you have, please share it with someone else—we definitely need all the Steve Carell we can get.

pure happiness

PEACE and LOVE — shouting it out loud this week!

Steph